ILLUSTRATOR, COMIC ARTIST AND GRAPHIC DESIGNER
...and at the ending credits I was like: "What? It's over? I was just starting to have fun..."
I mean, seriously, all that effort put into the innovative character design and the special effects.... wasted over a barely one-hour-and-half long movie with a plot so predictable and so brief and cut here and there, that it leaves you wondering if you saw the actual movie or just an abridged light version made for retard children (no offence).
Maybe they plan on giving us the movie in two installments, one now, and one in 2016? Cause this ain't a whole movie. Some scenes actually looked like they were cropped out randomly in the middle.
Even with the same plot, the movie would have been decent if they took time to show and explain more. It could have lasted 30 or even 60 minutes more, showing more interaction between the brothers, more fight scenes, etc...
Let's just review some of the questionable choices and the poorly explained stuff we just oughta believe, like... <<<SPOILER>>>:
hy the mutagen that mutated them would just heal humans and not turn them into something weird? The girl who saved the turtle pets is SOO randomly the only one in New York who finds out about their existence, what a coincidence! And Raphael was leaving a mark everytime he kicked the Foot (WTF by the way. Very stealth) and no one in the police OR in the Foot realized it??? How come Splinter in the pitiful monologue at the beginning, already knows who's the Shredder? Isn't he supposed to be a fucking super-secret super-cool ninja? Who the fuck is he and why is he there in NY in the first place? The character is kinda given away without any pathos, he isn't even the real villain of this movie, because he's just sort of a puppet in the hands of this evil... random guy whose name I can't even remember, with his not-so-brilliant masterplan of poisoning the city with an instant-killing toxin (released with the clichè and totally pointless countdown... why a countdown, what for??) relying on an antidote they synthetized randomly in a couple of hours from the blood of test animals used in an experiment aborted about 15 years ago who have grown in a totally unpredictable way. °_° Oh, by the way, the random evil guy was himself a ninja, being the Shredder's pupil, but did you see him fight? I didn't. Karai is just there to make a fool of herself, the guards choose to keep firing at the turtles on their bullet-proof shells instead of shooting their legs... Raphael's touching confession was weakened by the fact that he actually didn't do much of his usual fuss, apart from saying he wanted to go off on his own and not even really trying to. And, well, I could go on, but you got the point, right? <<</SPOILER>>>
The Italian dubbing made everything even worse, with Leonardo's voice sounding like a total dork, and Donatello with a voice so high that he sounds like an eunuch. I want to see it in English.
I hope they'll release the "missing" hour of movie in the deleted scenes, in the DVD. At least.
That said, I'm actually waiting for the second movie. Because the design totally kicked ass, I'd love to see these turtles in action again, and maybe the next time they can fix all the shit and make a good movie out of it. Come on Michael Bay, it's not that hard. The ingredients are already there, you just have to assemble them decently.
PS: Did I forget to say that Splinter's design sucked? Well, it did. :/